Originally a dark comical parody and written 11 years ago on the now long since dead journalspace.com. social Bloggertering site which sadly is no more
The man on the couch gave a last heave before expiring the light passing from his eyes for the last time. The woman who had been tending him burst into tears. One of the young men who stood a little apart in the room in the painted palace moved forward and placed his arms on the shoulders of the weeping woman. Mother your highness come away he is gone to the happy after life he drew her to her feet and lead her away the woman continued to weep.
Pharaoh was dead her light her sun had died the light gone from her life they had been companions for a very long time he had been her brother her king her beloved Tuthmosis ruler of the two lands was now nothing more then a carcase for the butchers block. She thought for a moment of the tomb that he had, had build for them the care with which he had taken in its construction not to many days hence he would be laid to rest in there eternal home. But the thought brought only sadness she thought of the lonely years that lay before her with out her beloved husband. How would she bear it she did not know. As she wept the heavy makeup which the queen of Egypt wore begun to run down her cheeks she whipped her tears on her sleeve a dark stain appearing on the sleeve of her robe. Grief was a natural part of life morning the death of a love done Pharaoh was dead and now Egypt would morn for 80 days the passing of the king she turned once more and looked with a great sadness back at the body on the couch leave it mother said the young man. Soon the news would be spread to the two lands the embalming priests would be coming to take the body of the pharaoh to the mortuary temple were they would preserve the body for eternity.
Queen Nefertiti was weeping once again she had been weeping almost continuously for the last three days now her son entered the room and drew up a low stool Mother my queen please stop your weeping for a moment and consider that my father Pharaoh has gone to the afterlife to the great banquet which is prepared even now he is making ready to enter the presence of Osiris when he has passed all there tests I am sure he will enter the afterlife to spend eternity at the feast table with the Gods Amun, great Osiris, Isis Hathor And Ra- hekcerty be not sad my mother rather rejoice that the pharaoh has entered into a place of rest one day when it is our turn we to will join him in the happy after life. Now I bid you mother as your new pharaoh take food wash dress and make up
your face for Egypt wants to see there dowager queen so please mother weep no more appear before the people of Egypt as there queen stand tall let them see that even though our father Pharaoh Tuthmosis has gone to the afterlife we are happy and joyful for there is a new pharaoh who reigns in his stead come mother your hand maiden is here with water for you to wash I will instruct the servants to bring milk and honey when you are ready to eat. As the young man left the hand maiden came forward to minster to the needs of her lady Aya the Nubian slave had been with her lady now for about twenty years she had known no other home then the painted palace for the last twenty years her life before was like a dream she had been taken at a very young age from her home far to the south where her people had been cattle breeders living pretty much the life of nomad tribesman but of this life she remembered little most of the memories she had blocked at an early age because they were not happy ones
The tribe been over run by the armies of Pharaoh Tuthmosis the killing of her family she seldom thought on it was
just to painful now as she hurried forward for a moment her mind flashed back to the day when as a small child she had wandered from body to body in the dust as the war chariots moved around her killing of the last few members of her tribe that offered resistance to enslavement. She had been a loyal servant to the lady of Egypt and had learned much in Egypt brought into the royal household because she had a pretty look about her she had
been trained to wait upon the lady of Egypt and had fur fulled her duties well been rewarded with little objects which in themselves had little value yet when placed together they made quite a valuable collection with which she hoped to buy her freedom. Of returning to Nubia there was little hope now she longed for the day when she could buy her freedom and live as a free person in the two lands belonging to no one but herself liberty was a word unknown to her but the concept was one which she understood and longed for. Washing and been dressed Queen Nefertiti ate a small meal then set out for the apartment of her son the new Pharaoh of the two lands. As she moved through the palace followed by the loyal Aya a few steps behind in case she needed any thing attended to the servants and nobles bowed low as the lady of Egypt passed averting there
eyes some had tears in there eyes as they thought of the sorrow of Egypt at losing the man who had ruled and made Egypt great heart ach followed the lady of Egypt at every step she took arriving at the chamber she entered to find her son adjusting his head dress before setting out to the open balcony from which they would address the crowed before making obedience to the gods. The young man looked at his mother and gave a small smile we are ready now lets get it over with said he as he lead the way to the outer chamber the light of the torches burning bright casting long shadows as they passed
on the walls of the painted places. The servants hurried before them throwing open the doors which lead to the great balcony below them stood thousands upon thousands of troops and thousands of civilians come to do homage to the new pharaoh and to morn the old. As the emerged from the palace the troops came to attention the thunder of thousands of feet stamping onto the hard packed earth like a thunder burst.
The priests did homage to the now deified Pharaoh Tuthmosis a young bull been slaughtered the blood running down the alter some of it splattering the crowds below other priests chanted charms and prayers to the late King. The lady of Egypt watched all the while the pain in her heart grew worse the sorrow oh the sorrow would it never end.
In 1804 the vecomte Jaquces De Matlandia returned to France after a long journey from Egypt he had been among the first commanders of Le Grand Army to land on the ancient shores with a battalion of men under him he had made his way to the rallying point only to watch in amazement as the combined fleets of France and Spain were destroyed. There after abandoned by the little Corsican emperor the vecomete had taken the step of
leading the battalion across the western desert on a death march which very few would survive in the hopes of returning to his beloved France.
Extract from the dairy of Vecomete De Matlandia
On the morning of the second day of our march across the desert I was awoken by my aid de camp who informed me of a certain curiosity which had occurred during the night two of the men on guard duty had failed to report, When there Sargent had gone to find out what the reason for this was he came across a most gruesome sight the men were found a few hundred yards from the camp both of them dead how ever the method of there death was one of the strangest things I have ever had cause to behold for both men seemed to have had all liquid sucked from there bodies for when I went to inspect the bodies they appeared to be nothing more then dry husks some thing not even remotely human there bodies were like the dried out old corn husks one finds at the end of a
good harvest. These deaths were to be the first of many unexplained deaths from that day the dry death as the men began to call it would haunt our every wakeful moment later of course the dry death would begin to invade our dreams chasing sleep from our tired bodies. So much so that men refused to sleep lest they become the next victim
Will it ever stop we have been marching now for 19 days with death stalking us neither of my able laid de-camp’s have survived having been taken by the dry death I fear we will never reach France or rejoin the grand army. It appears we are cursed to wander until the last one of us is taken by the death that follows in our steps.
We have abandoned our horses there is now not enough water for both men and beast thus we have been forced to kill our faithful campaign companions if we are to survive at all we will have to change our methods of travel so far we have traveled during the day from sun rise to sun set Now I propose that we travel at night resting during the day the going should be a little easier. It is cooler in the evening and the moon rises early enough to give us light for most of the night. As I sit here in my tent I pen these words hopefully the dry death still follows maybe traveling at night will make it a little easier to bear for all the deaths happen at night.
Last night while making our way towards a little village oasis some of the men began firing at some thing in the rear of our column on investigation we found three of our men taken by the dry death however some of the men who were just ahead of them in the column reported seeing a strange creature among the dead men a creature who according to the men had eyes of the bluest fire and skin of gold hair of green and gold a strange creature who seemed impervious to rife and pistol shot as a number of shots were fired at the creature by both the dead men and the others who saw it
There are only 10 of us left now the rest of my battalion lays behind us in the desert markers of the strange malady which has followed us from our fist days in the desert. One wonders if in fact this enterprise was not cursed from the outset
We have now reached the coast God willing we will get a ship or a boat to take us towards our beloved France. Although the deaths have ceased the men remain watchful and somber seldom sleeping preferring to remain awake during the night if we are able to we will take to the sea later todayThe mummy Tuthmosis turned to his companion and said Well my queen we have not feasted like this for some time now I fear it is time for us to return to our tomb and to sleep a little.
Old Tuthmosis dusted off his mummy and stepped out of his tomb he had not been out much lately so he was quite surprised when he saw a Bedouin coming down the bumpy road in an old VW. My how times have changed I remember last time I was out the Bedouins were still riding camels now they come in cans thought Tuthmosis. The Bedouin stopped running hesitated then slowed to a walk excuse me but are you a mummy by any chance asked the Bedouin in an incommunicable language?
Tut scratched his head he recognized the word mummy but the rest was Greek to him. Slowly Tut walked towards the Bedouin extending his hand in front of him the Bedouin clutched wildly at some thing round his neck the next moment there was a blinding flash and Tut almost burst into flames quickly he fell to his knees and rolled around in the desert sand putting out the smoldering bandages. Rising up Tut grabbed the little Bedouin by
the scruff of the neck and roared at him you numskull do you want to send me to hades? Now put that fire making box out of the way and come with me.
The confused young Bedouin followed after the mummy of Tuthmosis down into the tomb every now and then
the Bedouin would mumble some thing to himself entering the tomb Tuthmosis called out to the mummy of his departed wife queen Nefertiti Honey I am home I v brought dinner Good what did you find a bird or a stray camel asked the mummy of the departed queen from the anti-chamber where she was dressing for dinner in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic speech No I am afraid we will have to settle for unintelligent Bedouin again said the mummy of the great king.
Oh dear another one well that is bound to happen if you only go out for dinner once every three hundred years she said longing for the old days when Tut would leave the tomb every hundred years to find a fresh ancient Egyptian but with time tut had grown old fat and lazy now if he went out once in three hundred years it was a lot. Ah well Bedouin was better then dehydrated three thousand year old grain she thought.
Once the two mummies had finished eating the wayward Bedouin they sat back to relax it had been several hundred years since they had dinned on fresh meat so it took there bodies a while to digest the meal they slept for a few years in the easy sleeping couches that had been provided for them at the time of there burial. Waking Tuthmosis reached out to replace a stray bandage which had fallen across the brow of his erst-while queen.
Smiling as only a mummy could he thought back to the day so many centuries before when he had first seen her alighting from a boat at the temple of Aumen at Karnak ah what a woman she had been in life. She awoke at the touch of his hand. Oh Tut I was dreaming of Egypt and the days when you ruled from the great house oh what a time it was she said. A look of perverted love creasing the bandages across her mummified face.
Thank you my love for sharing with me he said she reached out with her body and took his hand in hers drawing it to her lips she gave it a dusty kiss already the traces of the Bedouin’s blood had disappeared from the face of
the female mummy rising Tuthmosis walked about the tomb saying we had better clean up a bit before we go out and find some thing to eat these bones are becoming a bit bothersome we cannot continue to stuff them in to Coptic jars they are already full to over flowing.
Why don’t you take them out and leave them in the desert she said a nice mystery for the locals to try and solve. I might just do that said Tuthmosis after all it might be just what we need to bring others out to find out what is going on he said as he collected the dried remains of there last few dinners into a papyrus weaved basket.
There had been a time in the early mid 20th century when they had feed on a number of men who seemed to be part of some invading army the Grey uniforms of these soldiers he now gathered to gather and threw them in to the basket how they had feasted back then those men had feared nothing coming in wave after wave trying to destroy Tuthmosis and his queen.
When they stopped coming Tuthmosis and his queen felt almost human again the flesh on there bones having a glow of youth and vitality but that was more then fifty years ago now and the flesh of there bodies was once more in a drying state the latest meal the ignorant Bedouin had only served to wet there appetite for flesh, I wonder if I should go out and see if I can find some thing fresh to eat he said do you wish to join me? he asked her. Yes I might just do that she said rising from the couch they set out across the desert in the direction of the great pyramid they had a long time ago worked out how they would catch there prey when they saw a group of people they would feign death drawing the people closer to look upon the faces of some uncovered mysterious mummies from this point there operation varied some times they would take the unsuspecting humans while they slept others they would take in the desert in secluded spots in the desert.
If they chanced upon a solitary human they would approach with out much fear much as Tuthmosis had approached the Bedouin earlier.
They needed to feed they had tried feed in on dogs and camels but there was nothing quite like a human from whom they would suck the life out of leaving a dead husk to dry in the desert or in there tomb they had not been worried about housekeeping in the tomb much because they found that if it did not worry them
it did not matter Lately Queen Nefertiti had become very tomb proud wanting every thing in it’s place a bit of dust was okay but the rotting human remains were not acceptable After all just because one had been dead for thousands of years did not mean that you had to live in a pig sty, placing Tuthmosis in a difficult place
He had never worried much about the mess he made when he feed but Nefertiti had started to object thus every few years he would throw out the dry remains which would swiftly be covered by the shifting desert sands in other cases throwing the remains out had brought an un-expected meal when archaeologist chanced upon the remains.
Now as they journeyed across the desert they would settle for any type of human. They came across the buried VW it had been standing out in the desert now for about three years and was buried up to it’s windows in sand.
What on earth is that asked Nefertiti? Having not been out in a number of years she was not up to date on modern technology.
Oh that said Tut is a horse-less chariot, the Bedouin came in it. Ah food in cans she said smiling thinking how fresh could humans be if they now came in cans
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