The woman that looked like a great beauty last night through the has of cigarette smoke and cheap booze that you could not wait to devour looks different this morning
She looks like a hag with cheap dyed red hair the dark roots of hair hair we’re the first thing you saw when you opened your eye’s this morning and smeared lipstick, the wonderful silver dress she was wearing turns out to be a dull grey rag laying over the back of the chair. Her snoring is the most irritating thing you have ever heard
This morning she looks like she needs a makeover obviously the rose coloured glasses you we’re wearing defective.
The smell of the hotel room wants to make you throw up. Stains on the sheets tell a story and the stench of old tobacco, the pile of empty booze bottles, the sudden lightness of your wallet and the 20 unread sms’s from your bank make you sad as he’ll. The 65 unanswered call notifications from your wife, children, and siblings leave you in no doubt that you are in deep crap.
You look into the bathroom mirror and listen for the sound of the other occupant of the hotel room getting up and leaving (you are filled with self hate, and loathing at what you have done.) You wonder about the great beauty if she feels the same way. After all she is someone’s daughter, someone’s and someone’s mother.
You don’t really care but the thought was a moment when your true nature shone through (you not a bad man, you just wanted to make things better, when you spent hundreds of your hard earned dollars at the slots and tables. But you know that you are lieying to yourself. You were filled with greed and wanted to walkout of the casino a big winner but instead you gambled away the rent, the food money, the account money and your child’s birthday present gift money.
You contemplate ending it all but you are a coward, and logic and a health science of self preservation prevails.
You wonder when everything went so wrong for you.
Could it way back in the 1980’S WHEN you first left school and promised yourself that you would go and get a degree once you had saved up, or was it when your dad took you to the whorehouse to find out how to become a man?
In the cold light of this morning your life looks like a huge mistake and you don’t know how to fix it.
Having washed your face you order coffee from room service and go through your wallet to see how badly off you are.
You don’t remember quite what happened last night at some stage the great beauty joined you at the table. She spoke to you first showed an interest or pretended to.
You started winning every one came to watch you laughed and talked. You we’re having fun now for the countless time you felt great hate for yourself.
You were putting off the inevitable, you have face your wife and children.
As usual you began emptying your pockets papers, random loosing lotto tickets, scraps of loose money and strangely enough something you have no knowledge of a gold embossed casino envelope with your name on. You think maybe a with compliments slip from when you booked the room or a bill.
Now you are really filled with guilt and your stomach does a half turn and you want to hurl and roar Ralph down the toilet.
Calmly you open the envelope not really paying attention because you can already hear your wife’s voice in your mind telling you truthfully just what a useless piece of human crap you are and she says she can’t understand what she ever saw in you.
You pull out the letter from the envelope and unfold it attached to the top is what looks like a fancy compliments slip as predicted you begin to read the letter, it is a letter from the corporate director congratulating you on winning two and a half million dollars .cheque
Attached for your kind attention.
you look at the with compliments slip and find just behind it the wonderful cheque the solution to all your problems.
You want to jump, shout for joy and run a mile all at the same time.
You are so happy you are battling to breath, what to do next you wonder your heartbeat bangs away audibly, you are sweating and you are breathing with difficulty.
Suddenly you do not feel so well.
You slip down on the bed and they and regain your strength, but this does not happen you pass out and your heart stops
You are aware of everything that is around you. Briefly your life flashes before your dead eyes then death stands over you and extends his cold dead hand into your chest and pulls your soul out of your body.
You dies of a massive heart attack from shock.
Your wife and children are going to live well in your winnings, but you will never know this your memorial service was grand as you always wanted you we’re in the cheapest coffin that could be bought covered with your ancestral clan colours and the piper played amazing grace.
But you will never know this.
Your wife and children took a Caribbean cruise in a grand ocean liner with her new husband that your winning paid for you would have got the divorce order if you had lived.
You will know the pain of burning in hell without a chance of redemption.
Many things you will not know but the last you will.
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